Friday, November 7, 2008

green with envy

So yes, I had a case of the green eyed monster yesterday.
I don't usually get like this, ok maybe over shoes or a lush handbag I spot in the street, but this was very different. It was an actual physical thing, like in the pit of my stomach, and nearly brought me to tears..I was rendered speechless though.
The only other time I can remember feeling like that was when at the ripe old age of 24 I was told that I had a 1% chance of ever falling pregnant, I swear that every female I set eyes upon from that moment forward was beamingly pregnant, it consumed me.
Anyway, back to yesterday...yesterday I had the pleasure of finally getting a house tour of some lovely friends of ours brand new house.
I had seen outside a few times, and had actually told dear hubby that I didnt want to see inside because deep down I knew..and I was right. But yesterday it was unavoidable, my children and my husband were already there so I had to go in..and it took my breath away. This home, is just so beautiful..but not in a made up magazine way, but a beautiful meaningful, homey way. But what set the green eyed monster about in my belly is that this house was and actual physical thing, an actual thing I could walk around and touch, and it is exactly the same as the house I dream about. I swear to you, it is so is like someone crept into my heart and head and made this house to my exact specifications and is so beautiful...I wish I had my camera but I didnt, but I will get photos..if I can bring myself to go back (which I will). This house is set atop a gorgeous hill and overlooks the mountains and is peaceful, tranquil and beautiful, and has a know a real one, just for creating..anyway...that was my envy moment, which went as soon as it came.
Oh and by the way, I DID have a baby, 2 lovely ones actually, after many miscarriages..but I never gave up..and one day I will have a home like this, maybe not on the top of a mountain, but one that is filled with love and laughter...only 3 more weeks till we move into our 70's renovator...woohoo!

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