Friday, April 2, 2010

a year ago..

A year ago today I lost a friend.

Not to a tragic accident, or passing away or anything like that, although at times it did and still does feel like that. No, I lost a friend via a disagreement, an argument, a misunderstanding. It was and still is really awful , hard and painful. It made me so sad, beyond words sometimes, that this could happen, but it does sadly. We had grown quite close i thought, popping around for a coke’n’smoke (yes I know shocking!!) at all times of the day and night, looking after each others kids, laughing till we cried, having a couple of quiet beers and prattling on about our husbands , life, the world, as we did. And then it all ended with an almighty bang. It was horrible, and the does not even begin to describe it. We both said things we probably regret, we both got down and dirty in the end, something I am not proud of. I do miss my friend, I miss how she made me laugh amongst other things, {the girl could tell a tale!}

Now, we pretty much pass each other like we never knew each other. I still go to wave when I see her car on the street, but then stop when I remember - we aren’t friends anymore. A couple of days ago we actually spoke for the first time in probably over 8 months, it was strange and unexpected. Just a small hello at the local shops, but it got me thinking about it all again and how in a year everything had changed. Our kids still go to school together, they chat and laugh as we do with each other’s girls..but us..not anymore. It really broke my heart to lose this friend...I hope she is happy and content with her lovely family, I wish her nothing but well, even though I will be honest this has been harder than I thought possible. Good friends are hard to come by, so to lose one hurts...alot.


3 little pieces of your mind:

Chantelle {fat mum slim} said...

Oh Jo. :(

I had the same thing for about 5 years. We fell out of friendship. And to see her at the shops, and not be able to run over and say hi, was horrible.

We're friends again now, and I am so glad. I love being part of her life, and her a part of mine.

I hate that energy of having 'enemies'. Would you consider reaching out to her? What would need to happen for the friendship to be back?

Is it worth the risk of rejection?

Love to you lovely. xx

lulufroufrou said...

its awful isn't ... I lost my friend of over 10years in the same way, only 5 months ago and miss what we had so much.

BOB & MABEL said...

I've been there too but thankfully we are back to where we were, but it took about 10months. We didn't completely stop talking but it was so strained and awkward and so completely heartbreaking. She is and has been for 17 years my "girl", we just get each other. From my experience it is worth risking rejection and more pain to get that kind of friendship back...