Friday, June 6, 2008


Tonight I am a mortified mother.
Today I went to pick up my daughter and there were television cameras everywhere.
Today, my worst nightmares and fears, and rumours where confirmed.
Today, I realised just how close she came.
Today, rumours where confirmed.

One of my daughters teachers died a few weeks ago. He was found at the bottom of a mountain range on a sunday afternoon. It was very sad, this terrible horrible accident to a lovely, kind, caring man. The kids loved him, they spent soooooooo much time with him, every lunch hour he had an open door policy and the kids just came and went at leisure. My girl, my baby girl, used to spend a decent amount of time in his care and enjoying his company. I encouraged her to go. She enjoyed going immensly, she came home and told me about how proud of her he was, and when I saw him in the school, he would always gush about how great my girl was and how she had a lovely and beautiful smile. Then he was found dead, at the bottom of the mountain. And it broke her heart all over again, it brought back everything that she had gone through losing her grandmother and her poppy just a few months before. She cried herself to sleep over this teacher for weeks. She was devastated.

Now to today...
The cameras, the questions, no answers to give, no answers to get.
This man, the one I described above was caught. He was caught in that great big net that was cast out over the past couple of days.
He had been charged with two counts and probably more to come.
So, he committed suicide.

This man, spent hours with my girl. I encouraged her to spend time with this filthy f*&^(&g peice of shit.

I am completely mortified, devastated and feel totally and utterly useless as a mother that I didnt know. I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know what to do.
I am crushed.

Today I am grateful for,
The fact that he is gone, and will NEVER get his filthy disgusting, eyes or hands on my baby or anyone elses ever again.

4 little pieces of your mind:

Kerri said...

Oh my goodness! You poor thing! I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Please please take care of yourself, this is not your fault! We naturally want to believe the best in people, however it is people like this that are making our society so distrusting.

With my own little girl (and boy)I am so fearful of the predators out there, but as much as we sometimes want to, we can't wrap them in cotton wool and keep them by our side 24/7.

I hope all is okay with your little girl. Take care!

Kerri (HUGS)

Belinda said...

Jo darling in reading your post I felt your feelings of anger, helplessness and confusion leap out from the screen - they smacked me on the face - and rightfully so- I am sure that this comment is all but cold comfort to you but rest assured - this is a failure of the SYSTEM - if he was guilty of such atrocities the system has failed you in not picking him up and protecting all of the babies in his care -I agree that the worst part about it is that there is so little we as mummies can do in these horrific situations.

Please please please try not to beat yourself up about it all. Just hug your little one tight and keep on remembering those things you are grateful for. Hugs to you.

Elisha said...

I love you girl. I was wondering if any of your kids went to that school - Nothing i say can make it better, and i know i would possibly feel exactly the same - Big Big Big hugs for freckles, and lots of love to you - dont be too hard on yourself, and like said above, dont beat yourself up- Your one of the best mothers i know- it could happen to anyone - My thoughts are with you always. xxxxxxx

Chrissy said...

Wow. That is truly horrifying, and I'm sorry for the loss that your daughter feels and any regret that you feel over encouraging your daughter to seek his company. You had no reason *not* to trust this teacher and couldn't have known the secrets he was hiding. Thankfully, he will not be able to harm anybody anymore. Take care.